Okay, mine timed out now.

I'm going to rip everything out and start over from the template, avoiding all the added features you've tossed in (usernames and crypt keys and unreferenced DBI modules, oh my!).

I try not to be a NIH^* guy, but sometimes you just gotta' rebuild the wheel to see how it keeps the chandelier floating at the Shindig.

^*Not Invented Here