$  ldd -v /mxhome/charrison/.cpanm/work/1460642897.9426/DBD-mysql-4.03
+3/blib/arch/auto/DBD/mysql/mysql.so
        linux-vdso.so.1 =>  (0x00007fffef3a0000)
        libpthread.so.0 => /lib/../lib64/libpthread.so.0 (0x00007f81bb
+399000)
        libm.so.6 => /lib/../lib64/libm.so.6 (0x00007f81bb114000)
        librt.so.1 => /lib/../lib64/librt.so.1 (0x00007f81baf0c000)
        libdl.so.2 => /lib/../lib64/libdl.so.2 (0x00007f81bad08000)
        libc.so.6 => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6 (0x00007f81ba973000)
        /lib64/ld-linux-x86-64.so.2 (0x0000003576400000)

        Version information:
        /mxhome/charrison/.cpanm/work/1460642897.9426/DBD-mysql-4.033/
+blib/arch/auto/DBD/mysql/mysql.so:
                libpthread.so.0 (GLIBC_2.2.5) => /lib/../lib64/libpthr
+ead.so.0
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_2.4) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_2.3) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_2.2.5) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
        /lib/../lib64/libpthread.so.0:
                ld-linux-x86-64.so.2 (GLIBC_2.3) => /lib64/ld-linux-x8
+6-64.so.2
                ld-linux-x86-64.so.2 (GLIBC_2.2.5) => /lib64/ld-linux-
+x86-64.so.2
                ld-linux-x86-64.so.2 (GLIBC_PRIVATE) => /lib64/ld-linu
+x-x86-64.so.2
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_2.3.2) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_PRIVATE) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_2.2.5) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
        /lib/../lib64/libm.so.6:
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_PRIVATE) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_2.2.5) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
        /lib/../lib64/librt.so.1:
                libpthread.so.0 (GLIBC_2.2.5) => /lib/../lib64/libpthr
+ead.so.0
                libpthread.so.0 (GLIBC_PRIVATE) => /lib/../lib64/libpt
+hread.so.0
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_2.3.2) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_2.2.5) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_PRIVATE) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
        /lib/../lib64/libdl.so.2:
                ld-linux-x86-64.so.2 (GLIBC_PRIVATE) => /lib64/ld-linu
+x-x86-64.so.2
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_PRIVATE) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
                libc.so.6 (GLIBC_2.2.5) => /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6
        /lib/../lib64/libc.so.6:
                ld-linux-x86-64.so.2 (GLIBC_PRIVATE) => /lib64/ld-linu
+x-x86-64.so.2
                ld-linux-x86-64.so.2 (GLIBC_2.3) => /lib64/ld-linux-x8
+6-64.so.2
[download]

It turns out that Operations recently juggled around some directories in order to better manage having mySQL 5.1, mariadb, percona, and oracle versions of these libraries! Based on the timing of those changes, I'd guess my problem is related to them, and is entirely local to my environment. Probably not a whole lot the perlmonks can do in the way of pinning down the exact problem.
Thanks for your time.