in reply to Re^3: mysql_connect_timeout laughs at me
in thread mysql_connect_timeout laughs at me

It might be that the connect timeout doesn't apply in your scenario, since the connection is already established. Are you setting mysql_read_timeout and mysql_write_timeout as mentioned in the DBD::mysql docs? (It's not completely clear what the default values are, but it's not uncommon for drivers to default to 0 and wait forever.)
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