This is something that goes far, far beyond PM and virtual communities. Jealousy, envy, depression: they all emanate from a fear of an egoless state. When we start peeling away the layers of the ego we inevitably enter a void, the selfless expanse of non-existence that knows neither form nor function. It's the realm of pure unknowing. It's the source of abject terror for all but the most enlightened.

Becoming egoless - stripping away the layers - is the first step. It's what you do after that that affects your overall happiness (or lack thereof).

It's only when you fill that void that you can grow. Some fill the void with constructive forces like God, Science, or Perl, others with destructive forces like rage, (drugs &| alcohol), depression, apathy; still others never fill the void at all and exist in an infantile state neither fully engaged in the world around them nor entirely able to escape its burdens.

Once the void is filled with positive forces, suddenly the world makes sense and miraculous things become possible. The trick is to find something lasting to fill the void and not something that you sleep off. IMHO, Love is the way.

Call it politeness or whatever, but it's about putting yourself in the shoes of the other and genuinely wanting them to thrive. In all aspects of my life, I'm trying to be the "egoless monk."

update clarified some of the enjambment of thoughts that resulted in trying to articulate this in the 10 minutes I had before a meeting.