Now, may I gently remind you all ... in this case, I do absolutely know what I am talking about, because I have done this.

I shall forcefully remind you that your Perl is atrocious and if you hadn't posted a semi-competent piece of code today, first I can remember, I would say your Perl is non-existent. Yet you have frequently expressed your belief that you are an expert in Perl and all kinds of programming tasks for which none of us here has ever seen a hint of evidence. The 800lb salt crystals being taken with your fresh claims of expertise are well deserved.