(I personally like Getopt::Long module.) I am with you regarding aversion to "weirdo syntaxes".

Re mutually exclusive option: set options as I see fit AND note that in the doc. Problem of surprise comes when seemingly unexpected behaviour is not mentioned in doc.

If option field is getting thick to wade through, you could use instead or in addition a configuration file to specify the options. I prefer to be able to specify on the command line instead of looking in any particular location.