'I spent a couple of entertaining minutes'

I can think of many more productive ways for you to spend a few minutes, which would do a lot less damage to this site you claim to care so much about. Let's review some facts.

• 'Oracle has some pretty good, secure, visual tools already for doing that sort of thing, and even for partially-automating various steps.' - You have no idea what version of Oracle is avaialble to the user, let alone which tools they have installed or have been licensed.
• 'The very thought of any such actions being relegated to a “CGI anything,” let alone at the hands of (pardon me) “an obvious amateur acting on his/her own,” - You have no idea if OP is acting on his/her own. People use web based interfaces all the time to interact with Oracle securely. But you don't know anything about CGI, databases or security. Everyone begins as an amateur, some learn as they go. You seem to be the perfect example of someone who does not.
• 'More-than-one of them would have to “sign off” on any such idea ... and of course they would not.' - You have no idea what the structure of OPs organisation is. You have no evidence that this has not already been requested by the appropriate people.
• '(The repercussions on “every single manager anywhere on the firing-(ahem)-line from Director to him-or-her” could be pretty serious, too.)' - Yawn...
• 'The reason why I “would not bother to turn around” is because I know this already.' - There's that terrible attitude again.

The only thing you prove time after time is that you don't know what you're talking about, and shouldn't be listened to by anyone. Your Mother provided a fairly typical example. This game is not new to you. Spreading FUD is to people who don't know any better is your bread and butter.

Update: fixed formatting problem.