To my way of thinking

Your way of thinking is irrelevant, because it's not how Perl works.

Other people have linked the relevant documentation. I wrote a book and give it away for free. (PragProg link for Modern Perl, 4e or online link to MP 4e).

If that's too much of a burden for you, /msg me your address and I'll send you a paper copy.

All of these resources are available. Please stop guessing and take the time to learn of what you speak. You're hurting yourself and you're hurting other people with your wild and uninformed speculation.