A couple of comments.

First, why are you bringing in CGI? You're not making any use of it at all. I could see using LWP instead of lynx -dump, but use CGI is just making your program bigger for no reason.

Second, you're using dot-star unnecessarily in your regexes. In your if statement, you can omit them all and your results will be the same, but it will simplify your code (and make life easier for the regex engine).

But I do agree that this is a pretty cool idea. jcwren did it for the monastery. Take a look at Stats Whoring - The VXML Way.