Recently, there has been a lot of commentary about how long Perlmonks takes to load. I've noticed it too, but I have a plan when I come to the site.

my $coffee = $self->brew_coffee();
my @books  = $self->grab_books(
	Book->new('Programming Perl'),
	Book->new('Perl Cookbook'),
	Book->new('Effective Perl Programming'),
	Book->new('The Pragmatic Programmer'),
	Book->new(random_comic_book(
		author => 'Eisner'
	))
);
$self->start_browser();

my $browser;

if ($browser = open(BROWSER, "-|")) {
	my $favorite_book = int(rand scalar @books);
	$self->drink($coffee);
	$self->skim($books[$favorite_book]);
	$self->remember(BROWSER);
	$self->peruse(BROWSER);
	close(BROWSER);
}
else {
	die "Cannot use browser: $!" unless $browser;
	STDOUT->autoflush(1);
	my $contents = $self->browser->load("http://www.perlmonks.org/");
	
	if ($contents) {
		print STDOUT $contents;
	}
	else {
		die "AAAAIGH! Couldn't load Perlmonks: $!\n";
	}
	
	exit();
}

$self->get_back_to_work();

Is it poetry, or just a cheap excuse to apply something out of the Perl Cookbook? I don't really know...

Update: Corrected for bracket interpolation.

"All you need is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure." -- Mark Twain