And I need to do this for each element of the array, in one big glorified loop which basically allows me to take the pretty plain text thing up there, munge it with another array of plain text thing, and spit it all out in beautiful HTML. Make sense?

Not really. Could you be more specific?

Assuming you want to break these elements into their parts, how about the following? The real question is how you want to store them. I chose an array of arrays

foreach $sess(@sessions){
  foreach(split(/\n/,$sess)){
  
    if(/^.\d+/){ #ignore the formatting lines
          
      push @connections, [split];  #pushing a reference to the resulti
+ng array onto the array
    }
  }
}
[download]

$connections[1][1]
[download]

would have the user of the second connection, for example. See perlref