I'm recycling this from an entry I had in one of the Obfuscation contests.

v("\150",sub{vec($q,0,32)=0x4a505420;
@w=split//,$q;return@w;});sub 
k{$t="\x20cmp\x20";if($#_>0){($^W,$i
)=0;for$f(sort{$p="$_[0]{$a}{$_[1]}$t
$_[0]{$b}{$_[1]}\x20";for($#=1;$#<=( 
$#_-2);$#++){$p.="or\x20$_[0]{$a}{$_[
$#]}$t$_[0]{$b}{$_[$#]}\x20";}$p.=";"
;eval$p;}keys%{$_[0]}){for$r(keys%{$_[
0]{$f}}){$s{$i}{$r}=$_[0]{$f}{$r};}$i++
;}return(\%s);}}sub p{print@_}for(keys 
%s){for$e(@a){p("$s{$_}{$e}\x20");}p($/
);}sub v{$^X=~s/^.*(\/|\\)//;${$_[0]}= 
{0,{"\x54","Journal","\120",$^X,"\x4a",
"Read"},1,{"\124","Today"=>"\x50",$^X=>
"\112","Hack"}};shift@_;k(\%${"\150"}, 
@a=&{shift@_});}
[download]

Cheers,
KM