Today drunk drivers are a problem because a car will blithely do what the driver says, even if that means running into something. But when people rode horses, drunk riders were far less of a problem. Not because the riders were better able to control the situation, but because a horse does not blithely do what it is asked, but instead exercises its own judgement.

You are that horse. Some day your current task will be replaced by a fancy compiler/IDE/toolkit, but it hasn't happened yet. And until it does, your greatest strength and weakness is the ability to exercise your own judgement. Use that ability wisely.

Blindly following bad directions leads you where you don't want to go. You know that. Trying to arrange everything for your comfort and convenience does not leave your manager with the flexibility that they need. They know that. So you both have to meet in the middle, and you should play your part in arranging that.

First practice balking. Try to anticipate consequences. If you are told a change that you think will cause problems, say that up front. If person A wants you to do something that you think will cause person B problems, tell person B and A of the conflict at the same time, and refuse to proceed until the potential problem is resolved or OKed. (This is how you solve the ID10T who tries to get their way with an endless stream of change requests out of band.) Make sure that you have a record of potentially bad decisions.

Next pay attention to the details that are properly your province. Yes, a rider gives a horse many instructions. But the horse has to do much more than instructed. The rider may indicate a direction, but it is the horse's job to avoid trees, place its feet carefully, decide when to jump over obstacles and so on. Except when it is for show (eg parades and certain competitions), it is foolish for the rider to direct a horse that finely.

Therefore make it your decision to (even if the company does not) keep up basic best practices. Use source control. Choose a maintainable style and keep it up. As code gets hairier and hairier, constantly reorganize and simplify it so that it stays under control. Don't put in comments that you know will likely come out later. Make the time to think up potential problems and head them off now, while the code is fresh, instead of later when it is harder to debug.

And if all else fails, you have a choice that the horse does not. You can choose to be quit of your current situation in search of another one. Which may or may not be an improvement, and may or may not be readily findable in today's economy. But still the awareness that you really can choose does wonders for your stress. If you are tired of being alternately spurred on and reined in, do not be afraid to bridle at the bit and say, neigh!