Friend, if all your remote script does is fire off an email, I'm curious as to why you don't just have the local script fire off said email? There are many ways on any OS to send email through perl. I think you might be getting the cart before the horse... unless there's some specific reason you can't send an email from the local box.

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perl -e "print qq/just another perl hacker who doesn't grok japh\n/"
simeon2000|http://holdren.net/