I just remembered that PHP does have a legitimate leg up on perl when it comes to Lotus Domino integration. I'm working (very slowly) on writing the LotusDomino module but until that's in place PHP can infact, do something that perl can't.

__SIG__
printf "You are here %08x\n", unpack "L!", unpack "P4", pack "L!", B::svref_2object(sub{})->OUTSIDE