You know, I could have done something productive with my time tonight... To my credit, I was able to stop this silliness before I finished Perl-ing the whole song.

use Person;
use Bar qw/:smoky/;

my $piano_man = Person->new( name => 'Billy Joel' );

### it's 9:00 on a Saturday. a regular crowd shuffles in
my @crowd = ();
if ( (localtime time)[2] == 21 and (localtime time)[6] == 6) ) {
    splice(@crowd, rand(@crowd), 0, Person->new) for (1 .. $regular);
}

### there's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic an
+d gin.
my $mypos = $piano_man->position_in(@crowd);
my $old_man = Person->new( gender => 'M', position => 'sitting', age =
+> 70, 
                           figurative_sexual_partners => [ $tonic, $gi
+n ] );
splice(@crowd, $mypos+1, 0, $old_man);

# .. insert the rest of verse one here ...


my @us = @crowd[ 0 .. ($mypos-1), ($mypos+1) .. $#crowd ];

### sing us a song, you're the piano man. sing us a song tonight
((localtime time)[2] > 18)
    and $piano_man->sing( $songs[rand(@songs)], @us );

### well, we're all in the mood for a melody and you've got us feeling
+ alright.
my $alright = ($bad + $good)/2;
for (@us) {
    $_->set_mood_flag(1 << MELODY);
    $_->feel_emotion($alright);
}
[download]

My favorite part is the "shuffles in" part -- I'm not familiar with the "real" array shuffling algorithms, but this is random enough for me.

blokhead