I can't see it being done In any way other than writing a limited javascript interpreter.

Apropos this rather bizarre route: I noticed that there is a JavaScript interpreting module on CPAN. I haven't actually even tested it, but it might be worth a look. >P>It appears to be an interface to a JavaScript interpreter from <mozilla.org>.

Oh, and on first sight it looks it's barely even documented, but if you go to the "browse" section, you'll see a "JavaScript.pod" file there. Apparently, the tiny bit of POD in the .pm file has confused <search.cpan.org>. Plus: if you scroll down in the page with the files listing, there's a plain text version at the bottom of the page.