• Larry for Perl. Dude, you gave me a career.
• CPAN for A-ing P C-ly on the N.
• My manager, Matt, for teaching me more about programming in six months than I'd learned in the previous 4 years.

Outside of perl, and knowingly off-topic:

• Vindigo for the amazing software. When my car broke down in LA, you saved my ass.
• Brian Michael Bendis for Powers
• Oni Press for Barry Ween: Boy Genius, Hopeless Savages, Pounded, and all the rest.
• Ministry, X, and Iggy Pop for motivation.

-Logan
"What do I want? I'm an American. I want more."