Here's the beef:

Apache 1.3.27
PHP 4.3.0
mod_perl 1.27
mod_ssl 2.8.12
OpenSSL 0.9.6g
[download]

The irritating thing is that I only get the error (I think) when the child process exits, so even when I'm tailing my error log, they don't turn up when I do a reload, they appear quite a few seconds later. So I can't just sit there trimming my code until the problem goes - well I can, but only at a speed that makes me want to head-butt my desk...