in reply to A little thought about kindness

pg wrote: I cannot understand why tech discussion should be suddenly turned into personal attacks.

pg, I can understand where you are coming from, but I do have to disagree with it. I've gotten to know merlyn rather well and while years ago I had your opinion of the situation, I realized that it simply wasn't accurate. Read carefully through the things that merlyn posts here. He does not make personal attacks. (though his criticism of code can be quite blunt.)

A personal attack is where someone takes issue with me. However, if someone takes issue with the quality of my work, that's not a personal attack. There's quite a distinction between criticizing a person and criticizing what that person produces. In reading through the thread you referenced, I see no indication of a personal attack. Further, you wrote that you didn't know why merlyn got mad, but I saw no indication of his getting mad.

I don't know, maybe I am just used to his style. I know him both through this site and on a personal level. He's not a bad guy, but he's quick to point out errors with code. Further, he is ridiculously prolific. He posts here, he posts to newsgroups, he writes articles, he helps people on IRC and he runs a Perl consulting company. There is simply no way I could keep up with his output. If he's terse in pointing out that there's a problem with something it's because there are so many problems that he's pointing out!

Admittedly, you do not know me, but I promise you that while merlyn may rub some people the wrong way, I've learned that I ignore what he says at my own peril. He is very, very good at what he does and he is usually not wrong. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and when I hear him say things that seem odd, I take the time to consider what he is saying and why he is saying it and I find that I have learned something new.

Cheers,
Ovid

Update: and borrowing a quote from a Sys Admin Magazine article: "If someone is trying to save your life, cooperate." :)

New address of my CGI Course.
Silence is Evil (feel free to copy and distribute widely - note copyright text)

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Re: merlyn is not an ogre
by MarkM (Curate) on Feb 19, 2003 at 18:17 UTC

    As a supplement to Ovid's defense of merlyn, I offer the following perspective:

    merlyn isn't your peer, or even your friend. He doesn't see a need to engage in inefficient ego-boosting to maintain a healthy(?) working relationship with you. He is a professional in his field and is both respected and honoured by many. He is offering his free time to offer you valuable criticism. His time is valuable. He is posting a terse critical opinion with which he hopes you can find useful, without substantial cost to him. (i.e. if he had to buy you flowers every time he hurt your ego, it would cost him)

    From the outside looking in, this definately can look like a snotty pseudo-intellectual baring his chest and declaring that anybody who does other than he does is an incompetent fool. But -- it can also look like somebody avoiding the usual word mincing that occurs in order to get straight to the point. What you read into it is your own choice. Whether merlyn is an a$$ or not an a$$ is irrelevant. He is offering you value for free, that he normally charges big bucks for.

    Personally I think merlyn *could* soften his tone, however, I do not believe that he *must* soften his tone. If this is the way that he chooses to give out professional value for free, there isn't much you or I can, or should do to argue. He didn't slight you. He slighted your decision.

    So... enjoy life a little more... :-)

[reply]

      And on that same note, I'm sure if you hired him as a consultant and paid him to answer your questions, you would probably get much less terse answers, and he might even buy you flowers when he hurt your feelings. :)

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      merlyn isn't your peer, or even your friend.

      To clarify: He is not your peer, but he is acting as if he were your friend: A good friend is someone who dares to tell you that your code is crap. :)

      (That is a general statement, not related to the code in question)

[reply]
        I don't know neither pg or merlyn in person, but I don't think merlyn come here as your friend.

        There was one day, this guy was shouting in the chatroom, because one of his post was down voted. He was saying something like "sometime, I don't really want to stay any more". Of course, on the other hand, he was also saying "It is not about XP point"

        Well, whether it is about XP point, god knows, he knows, everybody can judge yourself. I don't want to comment anonymously.

        But the moment merlyn said he wanted to leave, I was thinking "who cares", to most of the people here, life will go on as usual. We will not lose anything becasue any single monk's leave. On the other hand, it could be a really good thing, if we have one less such person, whose idea seems important just because his XP point.

        I am not attacking merlyn, I would say the same thing, if this is about another monk. This is not about any single person, this is about the health of this site.
[reply]

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