It won't win any golf trophys, but it might wrinkle teach's brow a little.

#!/usr/bin/perl -l
@_=split'z',q;stringzmonkeyzthe zeaz foze zinzr zt z
Plzentezto bzrchedzszwazund zpuz z'znoz:z.z~
z;;for$s(q;$_='jdnfkhcarlfndmehcarsbsu';,
q\$_='arsbsronr'.(<>!~?$_[1]?&&'ti').'epgrcav'\)
{eval$s,s'(.)'$_[-97+ord$1]'ge,print}
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