Thanks again to all!

My light has now flickered a bit, and I better understand that I am looking for communicating with a peer - not a true connection. Sorry it took me so long to grasp that concept..

So, to get my chat to work Thelonius was right. Two sockets is the way to go - but I the thing I was missing was that the "write" socket can be anything (ie. kernal picked) - as long as my peer gets to know where I'm listening (socket), we can establish a bidirectional channel..

Now my next step is to make my listening socket fork a child for each new peer.. And then I'll be set! I'll only define a listening socket from @ARGV, and in the children learn the peer listening socket from the initial message (or disregard the message..) from peer.