Re: Universal laws of bugs?

ahem.

If you don't write adequate tests, you will have bugs.
If you do not continually run these tests, you will have bugs.
If you can't immediately refute 99% of the content in mainstream programming theory books, you will have bugs.
If you think the above type of books are "genius" or in anyway new and innovative in the slightest (even at their time of publication), you will have bugs.
If you do not consider all program input as something more poisonous than arsenic, you will have bugs.
If you give into rushed schedules and sacrifice design, you will have bugs.
If you implement needless features that add nothing to the product, you will have bugs.
If you do not clearly separate your data from your code, you will have bugs.
If you only hire people based on university degrees, you will have bugs.
If you ever, ever hire an external consultanting firm to write software, you will have bugs.
If you insist on a language that is inappropriate for the job, you will have bugs.
If you fail to continually train your employees, you will have bugs.

And as far as ones I tell the brass:

If you don't provide adequate caffeine products, you will have bugs.
If employees don't play 2 hours of video games per work day, you will have bugs.
If you hire me a coworker like milton or a manager like Lumburgh, you will have bugs (and my boot shoved somewhere unpleasant).

Comment on Re: Universal laws of bugs?

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Re: Re: Universal laws of bugs? by Anonymous Monk on Mar 10, 2003 at 21:47 UTC
If you give into rushed schedules and sacrifice design, you will have bugs. Too bad that in deciding whether or not to give in, I sometimes have to give the paycheck more weight than the risk of bugs....	[reply]