You'll have to install the Love::Boat module from CPAN.

use more 'love' in your scripts to enhance the following perl functions:

# Initialization:
if (accept $me, $spouse) {
   bind $me, $spouse;
   bind $spouse, $me;
   bless $spouse;
   bless $me;
}
# Happy marriage!

# to talk to him/her
print $spouse crypt($message);
# use in conjunction with the new uncrypt function
# to understand what he/she says:
$message = uncrypt(<$spouse>);

die $error;
# results in
# Oh no! So sorry, dear! I completely messed up line 15
# in module yourfile.pl.
# It's all my fault: $error

@cupboard = sort @clothes;
# automatically remove dirty underwear and put them
# in @laundry
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The previously unsupervised garbage collection will now require your attention by presenting you one of the following questions:

"Honey, can you bring the trash outside?" (Y)es/(N)o
"Can you _please_ clean your desk?" (Y)es/(N)o
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An automatic END-block will be inserted:

END {
   print "Byebye, sweetheart!\n";   # en-US locale
   print "Hasta la vista, baby!\n"; # en-ARNI locale
}
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The following commands will be disabled:

study $scalar;
# aborts with error message: "Cannot study, too much distraction!"

use strict;
# aborts with error message: "I'm not one of _those_! 
# $gender_specific_noun "

warn $message;
# overridden by the system; used to notify you of 
# upcoming birthday, wedding anniversary etc.
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