Well gee. I'm sorry you are disappointed. Most of the suggestions wander around "Doc, it hurts when I do that. Well don't do that then!". The actual implementation of your suggestion doesn't (on its face) appear to be terribly hard but it requires digging into places of perl most people don't. All this means is that perl isn't going to help you from shooting yourself in the foot this particular way.

A solution to this is going to require If it really becomes a need for you then I suggest you familiarize yourself with perlguts at which point it should become apparent (after some study) how to make this happen.