Oh, Dominus already did. For some time, he would certify you.
I think the fee was around $2. You could choose your own
title. If you wanted to be a certified Perl sky-diver, that
was fine too.
The sad thing is that I would value that certification.
Sure, it is a joke. But it means that you know who Dominus is, you don't like certifications, and you have a sense of humor about it. This says a lot of things about you, most of them positive from my perspective. :-)