Ahh, ye' ol' slow network. That would be the key here. I set it to alarm(1) and then just let it run and that worked just dandily over time.
I am indeed on a very slow network here (128K frame relay shared between 16 people and 3 servers - blech).

Thank you very much for the help. I'm gonna go flagellate myself now like a proper monk - that'll teach me for not heeding slow networks.
Thanks again :)

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There are some odd things afoot now, in the Villa Straylight.