After seeing this one I thought I'd show/post my own version of it which was derived from a friends advice-generator: 
#!/usr/local/bin/perl -w

use CGI ":cgi";

use CGI::Carp "fatalsToBrowser";

@first = qw(Temporary Intermittant Partial Redundant Total Multiplexed
+ Inherent Duplicated Dual-Homed Synchronous Bidirectional Serial Asyn
+chronous Multiple Replicated Non-Replicated Unregistered Non-Specific
+ Generic Migrated Localised Resignalled Dereferenced Nullified  Abort
+ed Serious Minor Major Extraneous Illegal Insufficient Viral Unsuppor
+ted Outmoded Legacy Permanent Invalid Deprecated Virtual Unreportable
+ Undetermined Undiagnosable Unfiltered Static Dynamic Delayed Immedia
+te Nonfatal Fatal Non-Valid Unvalidated Non-Static Unreplicatable Non
+-Serious);
@second = qw(Array Systems Hardware Software Firmware Backplane Logic-
+Subsystem Integrity Subsystem Memory Comms Integrity Checksum Protoco
+l Parity Bus Timing Synchronisation Topology Transmission Reception S
+tack Framing Code Programming Peripheral Environmental Loading Operat
+ion Parameter Syntax Initialisation Execution Resource Encryption Dec
+ryption File Precondition Authentication Paging Swapfile Service Gate
+way Request Proxy Media Registry Configuration Metadata Streaming Ret
+rieval Installation Library Handler );
@third = qw(Interruption Destabilisation Destruction Desynchronisation
+ Failure Dereferencing Overflow Underflow NMI Interrupt Corruption An
+omoly Seizure Override Reclock Rejection Invalidation Halt Exhaustion
+ Infection Incompatibility Timeout Termination Unavailability Bug Con
+dition Crash Dump Crashdump Stackdump Problem Lockout);
@fourth = qw(Error Problem Warning Signal Flag);


print "Content-type: text/html\n\n";

print <<EOT;
<html>
    <head>
        <title>BOFH Excuse Generator</title>
    </head>
    <body bgcolor="#000000" text="#DF0109" link="#DF0109" vlink="#9900
+33" alink="#FF6633">
<FONT face="lucida sans, footlight mt light, verdana, arial">
        <h1 align="center">BOFH Excuse Generator.</h1>
EOT

if (!param()) {

print <<EOT;
        <p align="center">Click refresh to see more advice!</p>
        <p align="center"><table bgcolor="#EEEEEE" border="1" cellpadd
+ing="5">
            <tr>
                <td align="center">
EOT

if (rand(6) > 1) {
    print "<font size=\"5\">" . $first[rand(@first)] . " " . $second[r
+and(@second)] . " " . $third[rand(@third)] . ".</font>\n";
} else {
    print "<font size=\"5\">" . $first[rand(@first)] . " " . $third[ra
+nd(@third)] . " " . $third[rand(@third)] . " " . $fourth[rand(@fourth
+)] . ".</font>\n";
}

print <<EOT;
                </td>
            </tr>
        </table>
        <form action="bofh.cgi" method="post">
            <input type="submit" name="list" value="List Words"><br><b
+r>
        </form>
EOT

} elsif (param('list')) {
print <<EOT;
    <p>List of words used to generate advice:
    <p align="center"><table bgcolor="#EEEEEE" border="1" cellpadding=
+"5">
        <tr>
            <td align="center" valign="top">
                <font size="+1"><b>first</b></font><br>
EOT

    for($i=0; $i<@first; $i++) {
        print "$first[$i]<br>\n";
    }
print <<EOT;
                </td>
                <td align="center" valign="top">
                    <font size="+1"><b>secondectives</b></font><br>
EOT

    for($i=0; $i<@second; $i++) {
        print "$second[$i]<br>\n";
    }
print <<EOT;
                </td>
                <td align="center" valign="top">
                    <font size="+1"><b>third</b></font><br>
EOT

    for($i=0; $i<@third; $i++) {
        print "$third[$i]<br>\n";
    }
print <<EOT;
                </td>
                <td align="center" valign="top">
                    <font size="+1"><b>fourth</b></font><br>
EOT

    for($i=0; $i<@fourth; $i++) {
        print "$fourth[$i]<br>\n";
      }

    $first = @first;
    $second = @second;
    $third = @third;
    $fourth = @fourth;

print <<EOT;
                </td>
            </tr>
            <tr>
                <td align="center">
                    Total: $first
                </td>
                <td align="center">
                    Total: $second
                </td>
                <td align="center">
                    Total: $third
                </td>
                <td align="center">
                    Total: $fourth
                </td>
            </tr>
        </table>
EOT

} elsif (param('combo')) {
    $total = (@first*@second*@third)+(@first*@third*@second*@fourth);
print <<EOT;
        <p>All possible combinations total $total.
        <p align="center"><table bgcolor="#EEEEEE" border="1" cellpadd
+ing="5">
                <tr>
                        <td align="center" valign="top">
EOT
    for($i=0; $i<@first; $i++) {
        for($j=0; $j<@second; $j++) {
            for($k=0; $k<@third; $k++) {
                print "$first[$i] $second[$j] $third[$k]<br>\n";
            }
        }
    }
    for($i=0; $i<@first; $i++) {
        for($j=0; $j<@second; $j++) {
            for($k=0; $k<@third; $k++) {
                for($l=0; $l<@fourth; $l++) {
            print "$first[$i] $second[$j] $third[$k] $fourth[$l]<br>\n
+";
        }
    }
        }
        }
print <<EOT;
                                </td>
                        </tr>
                </table>
EOT

}

print <<EOT;
        <p align="center">Copyright 2001 TheDarkCitadel</p>
        <p align="center">Derived From <a href="http://www.mrperson.or
+g">Mr_Person's</a> Advice Generator</p>
    </body>
</html>
EOT

[download]
I left the 'combo' function in there as well just incase you ever want to use it (produces a rather large list) just add this button to the form: 
<input type="submit" name="combo" value="List All Combinations">
. And yes the code isn't pretty :)

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: BOFH Excuse Generator
by Abigail-II (Bishop) on Aug 05, 2003 at 21:56 UTC
    I prefer the simple: 
        $ telnet bofh.jive.org 666

    [download]

    instead of a web interface. However, what you did was done before, see http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/, which include a Perl CGI program.

    Not that any decent BOFH would use HTML to write excuses, let alone play font tricks.

    Abigail

[reply]
[d/l]
      Only difference between the two, is my excuses are generated from the Offical Excuse Board whereas your's are BOFH-style Excuse. Not the real thing.
[reply]

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