Well...I thought that at some point in my Perl Poetry I should use the old apostrophe package identifier thing, and I just happened to be singing this *as the thought popped into my head* ...:) Runs under strict & warnings too, for extra brownie points.

#!/usr/bin/perl

package I;
sub m {print "I'm $_[0]\n";}
sub AUTOLOAD {print "$AUTOLOAD $_[0]\n";}
1;
package He;
sub s {print "He's $_[0]\n";}
sub AUTOLOAD {print "$AUTOLOAD $_[0]\n";}
1;
package main;
sub AUTOLOAD {our $AUTOLOAD=~s/main:://;print "and $AUTOLOAD $_[0]\n";
+}
sub Wednesday {print "On Wednesdays ";}

I'm("a lumberjack") && I'm("OK");
I::sleep("all night") && I::work("all day");
I::chop("down trees"),I::eat("my lunch");
I::go("to the lavatory");
if (Wednesday()) {I::go("shopping") && have("buttered scones for tea")
+;}

He's("a lumberjack") && He's("OK");
He::sleeps("all night") && He::works("all day");
He::chops("down trees"),He::eats("his lunch");
He::goes("to the lavatory");
if (Wednesday()) {He::goes("shopping") && has("buttered scones for tea
+");}
[download]

...etc.

Cheers, Ben.