I think you're making this way too hard. Apache::Session is meant to be used as tied hash, not as an object, and if you want to use it as an object you should really just get over your dislike of FETCH/STORE and use them directly. The extra levels of indirection here just aren't worth it in my opinion.

If you really want an OO Apache::Session, I'd suggest you just hack the Apache::Session code to do what you want. I've frequently had to hack it to do things I need that aren't in there. It's not sacred code, and given how rarely it gets updated you won't have much cause for concern with future versions.