An alternative interpretation:

• TCP You prefer to have long lasting exchanges, and you always know exactly who you are talking to.
• UDP You utter short phrases and you don't care if you are heard or not. Sometimes you aren't talking to anybody in particular.
• ICMP You exist only to faciliate conversations between other people but you don't have anything to add to the discussion yourself.
• IPX You are amish. You refuse to do things the modern way and you don't speak directly to non-amish people.
• SMB Refusing to speak proper English, you expect everybody around you to learn your native language.
• TFTP You still use telegrams Stop Nothing wrong with that Full Stop
• SMTP You are a mailman.
• NNTP You hold meetings for everything that you do.
• HTTP All you want to know is "What are you asking of me?"
• WAP You don't have much to say, but you can heard far and wide.
• SOAP You are Charles Dickens. Paid by the word, you tend to write much more than you need to get the point across.