Well I won't have to do that now. The only problem I had left was an incorrectly formed regex.
I knew a regex was my answer but I wasn't putting in the right one. I also knew I had to use a hash. I never really had to use them before because I never had to get a 387 different line match to work before with a hash. Hashes are beautiful, it knew what to print out.
Well it's been fixed now so it's cool.