I understand completely what you are saying about why people only have ftp access and so on and so forth.
", am I supposed to go around to the webhost of every single person who downloads my script and say "Pretty please give this random user a real database"?
If I was the only one using my script I would do exactly what you suggest and find a host that supports what I need for my planned functionality. But this script is going to be publically available so I'd like to make it as accessible as possible with the smallest possible requirements.