Why restrict yourself to just coffee? I have at least 4 regular sources of caffeine: 
#!/usr/bin/perl -w

require 5;
use strict;
use vars qw($taste %boiling);
my @insults = ('hack','blech','blort','yeuch');


eval { require Starbucks::Frappuccino }    
and print("Sluuurp") and exit
or warn("You haven't got a Starbucks???")
and eval { require Penguin::Mints }    
and print("Munch Munch") and exit
or warn("Argh, I need caffeine!")
and eval { Kitchen::Fridge->content('drinks') =~ /coke/ }
and print("Sluurp") and exit
or warn("There's no cold coke, dammit :-(")
and eval { Kitchen::Cupboard->content('jars') =~ /coffee/ }
and make_coffee( Kitchen::Cupboard->content('jars') ) and exit
or warn("No coffee, what the hell?");

sleep( (4 + rand(15)) * 3600) unless die ();

sub make_coffee($){
    my $jar = shift;
    my $coffee = grep { /paper/ } ($jar, $boiling{'water'});
    print("Sluuurp");
    eval { $taste }
    or study $jar;
    if ($jar =~ /instant/) {
    warn($insults[rand @insults]);
        warn('This coffee sucks :-(');
    } else {
    print "Mmmmm..... coffee...."
    }
}

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In reply to RE: coffee by kilinrax
in thread coffee by ColonelPanic

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