This followup isn't in direct answer to your question. But I wanted to respond to the issue expressed in the title of the node: "Regular Expressions Hate Me".
First, don't take it personally. ;) They don't actually hate you, they just haven't taken the time to get to know you well enough yet.
Joking aside, if you (like most people, myself included) occasinally feel inadequate in the face of serious regex challenges, you owe it to yourself to pick up at the store or library the "Owls book", Mastering Regular Expressions from O'Reilly and Associates.
There are some good reviews of this book in the Monastery's Reviews section. By the time you finish this book you'll find yourself dreaming in pattern matches.
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