Update: It appears I forgot the ! in #!/usr/bin/perl. Thanks to sintadil for pointing it out 
#!/usr/bin/perl
#####################

sit();
breathe() until trance();
enlighten();

#####################
$sitting=0;
sub sit {$sitting=1;}
sub breathe {return unless $sitting;sleep 1;$time++ unless(rand>0.8);}
sub trance {return 1 if (($time > 30) && (rand > 0.6))}
sub enlighten {print qq{you are just another Perl hacker}}

[download]
--
$me = rand($hacker{perl});

In reply to Be patient, and you will realize the truth by radiantmatrix

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