human.pl:    103 strokes
shuffle.pl:   37 strokes
select.pl:    37 strokes
------------------------
total:       177 strokes
[download]

human.pl :::::::::::::: @x=<>;$z=length"@x";%x=map{($x=lc)=~s/\d+/0 x($z-length$&).$&/ge;$_,$x}@x;print sort{$x{$a}cmp$x{$b}}@x :::::::::::::: select.pl :::::::::::::: @_=<>;print splice@_,rand@_,1for 1..2 :::::::::::::: shuffle.pl :::::::::::::: print splice@_,rand@_,1for 1..(@_=<>) [download]

Frankly, I feel that this should count as a solution to #1, but it doesn't, because perl's native arithmetic comparison is just broken on ludicrously long numbers:

:::::::::::::: human_shoulda.pl :::::::::::::: print map{@$_}sort{$z=0;{$z>@$a?0:lc$$a[$z]cmp lc$$b[$z++]||$$a[$z]<=> +$$b[$z++]||redo}}map{[split/([\d\n]+)/]}<> [download]

Oh, well. It's still longer than my cleaned-up version of Tilly's, so I guess it's no real loss.

------------
:Wq
Not an editor command: Wq
[download]