And while I'm still here, I'll post yet another japh. The concept behind this one is to be (explicit-)print()-less. So it somehow doesn't fit typical japh form factor standards: 
#!/usr/bin/perl -lp
BEGIN{*ARGV=do{open $_,q,<,,\$/;$_}}s z^z seek DATA,11,$[;($,
=ucfirst<DATA>)=~s x .*x q^~ZEX69l^^q,^2$;][@,xe.$, zex,s e1e
q 1~BEER XX1^q~4761rA67thb ~eex ,s aba m,P..,,substr$&,$.,age
__END__

[download]
Please note that I don't like this one much any more, either.

In reply to Yet another japh by blazar

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