I just thought I'd share this lovely gem I ran across:

sub termgrades {
    my $period  = shift;
    my $quarter = shift;
    if ( $quarter == "1" ) {
        $sth = $dbh->prepare_cached('SELECT * FROM firstquarter WHERE 
+userid = ? AND period = ? AND gradetype = ?')
          || &error( "2", "$userdata[0] first quarter grades database 
+search failed: $DBI::errstr" );
    }
    elsif ( $quarter == "2" ) {
        $sth = $dbh->prepare_cached('SELECT * FROM secondquarter WHERE
+ userid = ? AND period = ? AND gradetype = ?')
          || &error( "2", "$userdata[0] second quarter grades database
+ search failed: $DBI::errstr" );
    }
    elsif ( $quarter == "3" ) {
        $sth = $dbh->prepare_cached('SELECT * FROM thirdquarter WHERE 
+userid = ? AND period = ? AND gradetype = ?')
          || &error( "2", "$userdata[0] third quarter grades database 
+search failed: $DBI::errstr" );
    }
    elsif ( $quarter == "4" ) {
        $sth = $dbh->prepare_cached('SELECT * FROM fourthquarter WHERE
+ userid = ? AND period = ? AND gradetype = ?')
          || &error( "2", "$userdata[0] fourth quarter grades database
+ search failed: $DBI::errstr" );
    }
    else { }
    $sth->execute( $userdata[0], $period, 2 )
      || &error( "2", "$userdata[0] quarter grades database search fai
+led: $DBI::errstr" );
}
[download]

I bet you could golf it down in to, oh, 200 characters?

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