I got some really good suggestions after my first JAPH, so I figured I'd give it another shot. It passes both -w and use strict;. Rip me up: 
$_=q;
&u&J&t&s;
;@_=split(/\&/);$_=
join('',@_)
;s#
\s*(.)(.)
#$2$1
#gx;$_.=
qq* %a%n%o%t%h%e%r*;s
/\%//gx;$_.=qq
|\|e\|P\| \| \|l\|r|
;s/\|(.)\|(.)\|(.)/$3$2$1/g;
$_.=qq.CHARKE\.
.;s/([A-Z])([A-Z])([A-Z])/\L$2$3$1\E/g
;s@\n@@g;$_.=$/;print;

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In reply to JAPH attempt number 2 by jgallagher

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