My first non-colaborative obfu. The terms "messy" and "kitchen sink" come to mind (hence the title) because it lacks a clean and consistant design. But maybe that is a good thing in this case? 

#!/usr/bin/perl -w
use strict;
0123 =~ m #\d+#
$8.$; * $= sub{
},eval{%[=[1]->

[1,$& /=[*]=\ &$,1]

->[1]]%0}=>* += sub
{warn qq.@_\...$/};
$..=$[.[* *=\&],& +
(map{&*(*(=\$_,y No
UsingOf&DeparseN021Quench
JagVPN&y&&&=>&*(*)=\$_)
);(crypt$),$()=~/([^Zip
021]+)/}qq(Dia;(eg*pO)o
(rn#g'\(fesUo))=~?([^
(2]+)?gx)]

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        - tye (but my friends call me "Tye")

In reply to Do the dishes by tye

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