| Baba Yaga | Definetely uses COBOL, like all ogres who eat children do. |
| Count Chocula | I heard that he uses Python. |
| Gandalf | Probably uses Scheme. |
| Gargamel | Alas, Visual Basic. |
| Merlin | Son of the devil, but for the good uses intricate LISP. |
| Mr. Spock | Real Vulcans do assembly, chaps. |
| Professor X | is a scientist and must use FORTRAN. |
| Raistlin Majere | Wizard of darkness, fell into C++. |
| Randall Flagg | is a dark prophet that spread the ugly virus of PHP. |
| Shazam | Incredibly powerful. Does Perl all the time. |
| Wizard of Oz | This one is not a real magician. Probably does only HTML and pretend it's programming. |