I feel sure that the Monks can help you. But first, are you sure you have the right qualifications ? The following may help you decide. Look on it as a self-certification exercise:

• do you know a damn thing about programming ?

  I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I have seen a number of supplicants who appear to have some idea of what they are doing.

  You don't want to be caught out that way, do you ?

  So, if you have the misfortune of having had clue forced upon you (or worse yet, have acquired some by hard work), then now is the time to seriously consider a lobotomy. Full frontal -- no half measures, now.

• do you have the right attitude ?

  I'm going to use A Word that may shock you; be prepared. Deep breath. Brace yourself. Documentation. What is it for ? If your first thought was "what's that ?" you are nearly ready. If you went "duh ? Isn't the Monastery an online help system ?", you are very nearly ready. But if you laughed and said "that's the stuff the Monks can deal with when they write my code for me"... you're ready

• so far so good. Now a pop-quiz:

  (1) "mi casa es su casa" means: (a) "welcome to the Monastery"; (b) "I've failed to keep up the payments, so here are the keys"; (c) "my homework is your homework" ? See me after class if you have any doubt about this one.

  (2) the term "super search" puts you in mind of: (a) discovering useful stuff; (b) those late evenings when after a beer (or two) hunting for a kebab seems like a good idea; (c) Clark Kent as a part-time proctologist.

• are you patient ?

  Say you have a problem that you feel sure can be solved with Perl. (Let's just accept the premise; OK ?) Do you: try to work out what the problem is, think how you might solve it, write some code, try and get it working, yadda yadda yadda.

  Of course not ! Good Grief. No: run (don't walk) to the keyboard and fire off a question to the Monks. They'll Know What To Do. Now, there's an art to this. First, don't be too specific -- the Monks don't like to be limited by too many details or facts. Besides, the more scope you leave them for creativity, the more you'll get. Second, try not to get sucked into discussing actual code -- that's the Monks' domain, not your's. Third, don't take any actual notice of what the Monks say -- but keep the discussion going, until some Monk finally solves your problem and gives you the code you need. I'm sorry to say that sometimes they don't get it straight away. Fourth, be prepared to ask the same question more than once, persistence earns respect.

• have you tried writing any Perl yet ? Have you tried running it ?

  OK. This is an attempt at a trick question, and you saw through it straight away. However, don't be shy: be aware that almost anything you do throw together will probably do something -- and the Monks will get a lot of pleasure out of explaining why apparent nonsense does (or does not do) what it does (or doesn't).

  So if the worst comes to the worst, the Monks can make something out of what you may think is gibberish. What's more, you probably have a better than even chance of sparking a learned discussion about what is (or is not) Good Practice or consistent with the Perl Way -- the Monks like that, bless them -- and you can go to bed secure in the knowledge that you have done your good deed for the day.

So, if you scored more than 015 out of 018 you are ready, and should (IMHO) go far. If you felt the questions had some merit, but required rewriting so that they were clearer and more scalable, or could be replaced in large part by using a number of modules -- then you do not qualify for this programme, and may have to do your own work. If you couldn't see the point of some ridiculous test and just want the Monks to get on with doing your job for you, then you probably haven't read as far as here anyway...

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