Others have pointed out other problems with your code, but your actual question has gone unanswered. (Well, I answered it when you asked in the CB earlier, but I guess you missed it.)
You're calling the anonymous sub in scalar context, which results in the match being evaluated in scalar context, and m// in scalar context returns whether a match occurred or not.
You need to call m// in list context or use $1 to access what the match captured. Here are two ways to fix your anon subs to return the desired value:
sub { ( /.*headline: (.*)/ )[0] },
sub { /.*headline: (.*)/ && $1 },
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