500 Can't connect to www.site.com (Bad protocol 'tcp')

Do you have a proxy server at your office? this sounds like your firewall might be blocking the http connection, check the web browser configuration on a machine on that network that works and look to see if a proxy server is configured...

500 Can't connect to www.site.com (Bad host name 'www.site.com')

Sounds like no DNS...are you trying to use it on one of your bewolf nodes or on your beowolf controller? If it's setup like I've set up my cluster, the nodes are all on a private network with 0 outside access, which would explain why it can't resolve the name..if you absolutely need this script to run on the beowolf nodes I would suggest setting up your beowolf controller as a chaching DNS server and using it to serve up DNS to all the dumby nodes..