gellyfish is right - and good link to a good explanation on the mysql website. MySQL can be a btch to get working in the beginning - the authentication takes a while to get right.

*Before* trying to connect to a remote server with DBI/DBD::mysql, get the connection working first just with the mysql client. It's been too long since I've worked with MySQL, but here is the general jist:

   # mysql -u <your-user> -p <remote-database-name>

        "-p" says to ask you for the password, so you'll
             get a prompt to enter the password for user
             <your-user>.
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If it succeeds, you'll get some "connected" message, and a 'mysql>' prompt. Then you can enter mysql commands at that prompt, like these:

   mysql> select * from <table in remote-database-name>;
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Once you can connect from the client machine to the server machine using the 'mysql' client, *THEN* move on to trying to connect using Perl/DBI/DBD::mysql.

HTH.