This is my first attempt - inspired by something similar (but using reverse) I saw by tachyon:

s^^unp(;75N=&9I<V@`ack(u,^;s|\(.+\`|"$`$'\"$&\"\)"|ee;/m.+h/&&print$&

Let me know what you think! It won't work with strict. If that matters...

Update: looking back at tachyon's one -

s&&rsenoyhcatreve&&&s&n.+t&"$'$`$\"$\&"&ee&&y&srve&&d&&print

- mine has nowhere near the same level of visual elegance and symmetry. Oh well, better start again...