In addition to the many good suggestions above, I would recommend looking at the following two books:

• The Pragmatic Programmer by Andrew Hunt and David Thomas -- the subtitle is "from journeyman to master". It's a great book on the craft of programming.
• Agile & Iterative Development: A Manager's Guide -- this contains a good high level overview of the similarities and differences between different software development methodologies

Beyond this, I've personally been experimenting recently with "test-driven development". While I'm not fully "extreme", the process of writing a test first forces me to think about how a user uses interfaces prior to coding. It's led to some streamlined code and really avoided overbuilding. I suggest doing some research and trying it out.

As an additional suggestion, unless you have a great local bookstore, I've found O'Reilly's Safari electronic bookshelf to be a great resource for browsing books to get a sense for styles and design methods.

Best of luck to you