This is a perl "implementation" of a consultant. It is inspired by my current contract work. Don't run this without being ready to Ctrl-C: it works just like a consultant, and will suck resources until terminated. 
#!/usr/bin/perl

$me = 'consultant';
if (! tied $hands) { $miracle = 1 }
if ($miracle) { $term = 'short' && $pay = 'low' }
else {  %get_paid_for = (surfing => 1, perlmonks => 1, slashdot => 1) 
+}

unless ($part_of_solution) { $part_of_problem = 1 }
while ($part_of_problem) { $cash++ }

[download]
--
$me = rand($hacker{perl});
All code, unless otherwise noted, is untested
"All it will give you though, are headaches after headaches as it misinterprets your instructions in the most innovative yet useless ways." - Maypole and I - Tales from the Frontier of a Relationship (by Corion)

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