sub
_{q^J?L81P>Q%M(Zz*O=Q\\4U6]8Jf^}
@^=split//,_;$^=${^}^$^;map{
print+($^
^$_)lt' '?
q; ;:$^
^$_;$^=$_;
}@^;
[download]

Comments, improvements, or your analysis are welcome!

Update: Cut and paste exactly as it is; whitespace is sometimes significant.

This is actually my second JAPH. I was getting ready to post my first when I saw merlyn's node about the canonical JAPH. My first JAPH did not include the comma, or have proper capitalization.